Losing a loved one is always a very difficult thing to deal with. However, losing someone unexpectedly can hit you especially hard. There’s an added feeling of loss to the equation, with many feeling some form of regret or “unfinished business” with the person who has passed.
Unfortunately, this terrible event has become all too real in the past year as we’ve had to deal with COVID-19 and the grief it has left in its wake.
If you’ve experienced any loss, want to help someone who has, or would like to prepare fully for a potential loss, here are a few things to be aware of.
Grief and Grieving
Grief is different for all of us. There isn’t a “right way” to grieve the loss of a loved one, but there are signs you can look out for:
- Loss of appetite
- Aches, pains and headaches
- Stress, anxiety and frustration
- Crying
- Guilt, anger and a feeling of loneliness
- Feelings of isolation, detachment and abandonment
While these are common signs of grief, they aren’t all of them and they aren’t a blueprint of what each person will experience. When helping someone deal with the loss of a loved one, the best thing you can do is offer assistance and let them know you’re there if they need anything.
Try to be understanding, patient, and, ultimately, let them ask you for help rather than pushing it on them.
Stages of Grief
The stages of grief are fairly well documented, but still applicable today.
- Denial: You’re left feeling numb and often struggle to accept or acknowledge that your loved one has passed on.
- Anger: You’re angry. At everything – God, the loved one who passed, the world for choosing to let you be like this, yourself and others.
- Bargaining: As anger passes, you bargain. Similar to over-thinking an event in your life where you relive it over and over again, trying to reconcile the outcome. The same applies here, except that this time it could be events with that person, events related to their death or even things said in the time leading up to it.
- Depression: A deep sadness that is very hard to shake. It’s a realisation that you’ve truly lost someone and it leaves a mark, something that can take a long time to get over.
- Acceptance: The end of the cycle, where you’re able to reach the realisation that you can miss your loved one but also find a way to move on with your life and carry on.
Like the signs of grieving, these steps happen differently for every person. There’s no science to dealing with any loss, let alone an unexpected one. But there are ways we can plan and prepare ourselves so we have the time to grieve without other external stresses.
Funeral Planning
The last thing you want to have to think about when a loved one passes is how to pay for things, what will happen with their funeral and how to organise it. Funeral Plans are low-cost insurance that will effectively take care of all these logistical and financial problems.
GetSavvi Health members have funeral plan benefits included in their plans for financial peace of mind. Find out more here.
Trauma Counselling
As mentioned earlier, grieving and how to grieve is different for every person. Some of us need the added help of counselling to overcome the sudden loss of a loved one.
GetSavvi Health members all have access to our Care Centre hotline, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
The Care Centre is staffed by experienced personnel who are there to offer you comprehensive, confidential support in a time of trauma. Find out more here.
The emotional toll of an unexpected death can be crippling.
Talking to someone, whether they’re a friend, family member or professional, will help you begin to process the loss and better understand it.
GetSavvi Health members
Can use our Member Wellness Programme for counselling, support, awareness and advice on a range of topics.
References:
A Therapist’s Advice on Coping with Unexpected Death
Sudden Loss Grief: Ways to Cope With an Unexpected Death